Song of the Day: "Fifteen"

Before I begin, I'd like to remind you that this is my blog, and I have the right to post whatever I want to post, so if you're reading this and you're part of that little "posse" that just wants to cause drama, you might as well click out of this window.  Now.  Because I don't want any.  I have better things to do with my time.  Thanks.

Aaalrighty...

Sooo a few days ago, a friend of mine (Hi Choo Choo!) introduced me to this song and it reaaally spoke directly to my heart.  This is one of the few times I will pause to reflect on my past relationship on this blog.  I remember how it used to be... the "good ol' days," so to speak.  I remember the flirting, the way he asked me to be his girlfriend, the first time we said I love you, planning our wedding, planning our future together, naming our kids (yes, I know, I know...).  And I also remember not fighting for the first year, at all.  Ironically enough, the fights broke out immediately after that.  I remember the hurt, the pain, the anger and animosity, the way we broke up, then got back together when we probably shouldn't have, and the way we finally broke up but just could not let go.  I remember crying on the phone, talking to my best friends, the sleepless nights, tossing and turning.  I remember the two of us saying we would wait patiently for each other, and a few days later, I remember him leaving me behind, telling me he feels "no emotional attachment" to me anymore.  

I would wish that I heard this song when I was fifteen, but then again, I probably would not have listened anyway.  In fact, the voices of those around me resonated this song, in essence, and yet I didn't listen.  I thought I knew better.  Everyone around me treated it like "oh, it's your first relationship.. chances are, he's not gonna be the One."  Well, to me, it really felt that way--the naivety of youth, I suppose?  I guess we have to make mistakes in order to rise above from them.  What is it about that romantic idea of love that has us thinking this relationship will stand the test of time, no matter what anyone else says--"you and me against the world" mentality?  I love him, he loves me, that's all that matters, that's all we need.  Ha!  That was a great day of understanding when I realized love just isn't enough.  Love's a multifaceted thing, and should one facet fail, it must be tended to and mended, lest the entire thing suffer because of it.  The 15-year-old me is no longer here.  She's grown up, and she knows better now.  The almost-20-year-old me is a stronger young woman because of it.  

And yet, I must admit, to this day, it's still a struggle, and I imagine it will continue to be a struggle to keep my heart in check, to guard it diligently and yet be open and aware of its feelings too.  As with all things, I suppose, it's a balancing act.  Be still, my heart, and beat only for the one who's heart also genuinely beats for you.  The wounds have healed, yet the scars remain.  I don't care what other people think or say, but I've moved on, and those who reaaally know my heart know that's the truth.

"Fifteen," by Taylor Alison Swift, with lyrics.  Enjoy and comment!