Song of the Day: "Paano Na Kaya"

This song's been in and out of my mind for the past few weeks--partly because the movie came out recently.  I really want to see it, at some point.  But mainly just because...  And I've just had waaay too many more important things going on right now that I just had to keep pushing this away.  

It's tough, definitely... an awkward position to be in, but I throw my hands up in the air and do my best to walk away.  Some remnants may linger, but it's getting better... MUUUCH better!

Paano na kaya?  'Di sinasadya, 'di kayang magtapat ng puso ko... bakit ikaw pa?

"Paano Na Kaya," by Bugoy Drilon, with lyrics

Song of the Day: "A Beautiful Mess"

This song has been stuck in my head all day.  Just like the words in the lyrics, there's a certain peculiar vibe about this song that stirs my heart.  I feel like this actually captures the ineffable aspects my life, in a strange way.  "A Beautiful Mess," by Jason Mraz, the master of wordplay, is a song that is so beautifully and peacefully chaotic.  (Not to mention that I'm an absolute sucker for clever wordplay!)  He's a genius, that man!

Song of the Day: "Fifteen"

Before I begin, I'd like to remind you that this is my blog, and I have the right to post whatever I want to post, so if you're reading this and you're part of that little "posse" that just wants to cause drama, you might as well click out of this window.  Now.  Because I don't want any.  I have better things to do with my time.  Thanks.

Aaalrighty...

Sooo a few days ago, a friend of mine (Hi Choo Choo!) introduced me to this song and it reaaally spoke directly to my heart.  This is one of the few times I will pause to reflect on my past relationship on this blog.  I remember how it used to be... the "good ol' days," so to speak.  I remember the flirting, the way he asked me to be his girlfriend, the first time we said I love you, planning our wedding, planning our future together, naming our kids (yes, I know, I know...).  And I also remember not fighting for the first year, at all.  Ironically enough, the fights broke out immediately after that.  I remember the hurt, the pain, the anger and animosity, the way we broke up, then got back together when we probably shouldn't have, and the way we finally broke up but just could not let go.  I remember crying on the phone, talking to my best friends, the sleepless nights, tossing and turning.  I remember the two of us saying we would wait patiently for each other, and a few days later, I remember him leaving me behind, telling me he feels "no emotional attachment" to me anymore.  

I would wish that I heard this song when I was fifteen, but then again, I probably would not have listened anyway.  In fact, the voices of those around me resonated this song, in essence, and yet I didn't listen.  I thought I knew better.  Everyone around me treated it like "oh, it's your first relationship.. chances are, he's not gonna be the One."  Well, to me, it really felt that way--the naivety of youth, I suppose?  I guess we have to make mistakes in order to rise above from them.  What is it about that romantic idea of love that has us thinking this relationship will stand the test of time, no matter what anyone else says--"you and me against the world" mentality?  I love him, he loves me, that's all that matters, that's all we need.  Ha!  That was a great day of understanding when I realized love just isn't enough.  Love's a multifaceted thing, and should one facet fail, it must be tended to and mended, lest the entire thing suffer because of it.  The 15-year-old me is no longer here.  She's grown up, and she knows better now.  The almost-20-year-old me is a stronger young woman because of it.  

And yet, I must admit, to this day, it's still a struggle, and I imagine it will continue to be a struggle to keep my heart in check, to guard it diligently and yet be open and aware of its feelings too.  As with all things, I suppose, it's a balancing act.  Be still, my heart, and beat only for the one who's heart also genuinely beats for you.  The wounds have healed, yet the scars remain.  I don't care what other people think or say, but I've moved on, and those who reaaally know my heart know that's the truth.

"Fifteen," by Taylor Alison Swift, with lyrics.  Enjoy and comment!

Song of the Day: "None but Jesus"

One particular verse of this song caught my attention..

In the chaos, in confusion

I know You're Sovereign still

In the moment of my weakness

You give me grace to do Your will

Why this verse? To me, it's a great reminder that no matter what storms may come, even though you might not have any sort of control over the situation, God does. Any way you flip it, turn it, shake it, spin it, God is sovereign over all. You may not have any idea what's going on or what's going to happen, but trust that God does, and always, always, always, He is in control. Isn't that amazing?

And in those times when you personally feel drained and weak, ask for God's grace to pull you through and get you through the rough times. Trust in God's promise in John 14, "You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it." In His Name and for His glory, we could ask for anything--not just some things, but anything--and He will do it. The thing is, sometimes we get impatient. This is not in our time but in God's time.

Song of the Day: "Bless the Broken Road"

Yes, why am I up at 3am, you say? No idea. I gotta get up in 3 hours. I think the responsible thing to do is to go to sleep after this haha... Song of the day, again, brought to you because Pandora is amazing! Beautiful lyrics, captivated me, "Bless the Broken Road," by Rascal Flatts... enjoy!

Song of the Day: "Someone"

I was working in lab today, alone, and I put on Pandora like I normally do... on the Musiq Soulchild station this time and this song starts to play. I never really paid attention to the words until today, and well *sigh* It's beautiful, I LOVE IT! I wish I could play an instrument! Maybe I'll try to learn this song, just this song... it's worth it, I think!

Well, the original version talks about a girl, but well, I switched it up a bit, and made my own version of it (changes are in bold print). Here goes! "Someone", by Musiq Soulchild, with my slight revisions.

Here's Passion's cover of this song. (Passion, by the way, is also AMAZING! Check him out! YouTube username: passionsf)  Enjoy!

I never wanted a man that wanted

Me for my name or material things, see

I always hope for a man that’s so sure

Emotionally secure, with spiritual faith

A man that I can trust with all of my secrets

And even listen to all of my issues

A man who never judge

Me or how I was

He deals with me strictly through love

Chorus:

Someone who will put up with the things

Loving me can bring

But still be there to see us through

Someone who would put up

With the strange and complicated things

Cause I would do the same for him too

Someone who I can be real with

Ain’t gotta be perfect

Because loving one another is all that matters

It’s not hard to explain

So believe me when I say

That I’ve found all of that in you

All that I hope for, a friendship that’s so pure

A guy I can talk to about whatever is on my heart

A man that needs me

That trust and believes me

That won’t take my kindness as some kind of weakness

A man who bares his soul, who’s willing to let go

A man who respects me and knows how to take control

And when I am feeling down

Cause things are going wrong

He fills me up and makes me feel strong

Chorus

You are that someone who loves me

Through all my imperfections

You know my heart is filled with nothing but good intentions

You are the one that told me

Long as we got us

Nothing matters

You are the one that sees the joy through the pain

You are my light through the rain

Here and now

Boy, I am saying it’s you

You’re my heart

It’s you

You’re that someone I can truly say that I’ll never find another love like you