Would I Be Remembered

As promised, here's the other poem I stumbled upon as I was spring cleaning!


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July 24, 2008


How would I be remembered?
What legacy would I leave behind?
Should people think about me,
What thoughts would come to mind?


Would the not-so-happy memories
Grow faint with the passing of time?
Or would they grow even stronger,
Much more hurtful than before?


Would the laughter and smiles
Overcome the sadness and tears?
Would I be remembered for my weaknesses?
Would I be remembered for my fears?


Would I be remembered as a woman,

As a sister, as a daughter?

Would I be remembered for my actions,

My personality, or my character?

Would I be remembered for the times I succeeded?

Or for every time I faltered?

Would I be remembered as a child
Whose eyes were bright with optimism
Who saw the future with excitement,
Marching forward, full of ambition?


Would I be remembered as a teen,
Absorbed in my soul-searching pursuits,
Who questioned everything I thought I knew
And struggled to gain the truth?


Would I be remembered as a student
Who excelled in every way,
Whose passion and thirst for understanding
Grows with each passing day?


Would I be remembered as a leader,
Paving the way for others to follow?
Or as a friend who loves, who laughs, who listens
In both in sadness and in sorrow?


Would I be remembered as a Christian,
God's ambassador to a world corrupted,
Seeking His face, spreading the faith,
Sharing His love to the broken-hearted?


How do I want to be remembered?
Would I make a difference, great or small?
Would I consider my life well-spent
When the time comes to answer God's call?
How would you remember me?
Would you remember me at all?


My life is multi-faceted.
Remember me for me.
Take my life and learn from it
Once my soul has been set free.

Spring Cleaning!

Ahh, it's about time to get rid of the clutter in my life!  I've actually been cleaning out my closet for three weekends now, and I think I'm finally done!  (Now I need to do the same to my dorm room!)  I've thrown out so much stuff I thought were worth keeping at the time but over time proved to be trash-worthy.  Doesn't that happen to everyone though?  Old receipts, random papers, user manuals to gadgets that don't even work anymore, just random little nothings that clutter your closet and your life!  Not only is my closet a heck of a lot more spacious now, but I've also found some treasures I've unknowingly hidden away.  (I actually found a check for $25 that I never cashed in, darnit!)  I've been finding these poems I write in my random moments of thought, and today, I found two more that I'd like to post.  One, I will post here, and the other, I will post separately.  Go tackle that closet, that garage, or wherever you tend to store everything.  (Lookie here!  Garage is a B away from garBage!)  Happy spring cleaning!

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July 16, 2008

Funny how the one you truly love

The one who makes your heart skip a beat

Is the same one that can do the most damage

And leave you cold out in the streets

Forever and Never

July 8, 2008

Forever doesn’t mean "for all time"

Never doesn’t mean "not ever"

Many hearts fall victim to these words

Only to cause them later to shatter

The present may be beautiful

But when present becomes past

The truth behind these words of promises

Will be proven at last

Many hearts will shatter

A lucky few will survive

But all will find it hard at first

To move on with their life

Forever and never are extreme and absolute

Chances are people will fail you

And leave you looking like a fool

Before uttering these words of promise

Check your heart once, twice, and again

And if in truth you fall short of them

Please spare her heart the pain

Love is a drug, a wonderful thing

But take care for it is two-faced

And brings with it suffering

Think before you speak and act

And do only what you truly mean

For none but He knows the future unforeseen

Once broken, twice shattered

The heart will find a way to survive

Though hurt and pain and misery

May be festering inside

Please oh please

Take care of her fragile heart

And don’t give in to his advances

Unless you’re sure he’ll play his part

Live and Let Go

It's actually a pretty awkward time to be posting these poems now.  My break-up with my ex-boyfriend was one of the most difficult things I've had to deal with, on a personal level.  (And surprisingly, complications still haunt me, even to this day... oh how the quickly the tides turn...)  I was pretty devastated.  And when I'm upset, when I'm frustrated, when I feel extreme emotions, I cry, I vent, I write.  

These three poems are products of that period in my life where I learned to realize my value as a person, as myself, as a woman deserving of the highest form of love, devotion, and respect.  I learned to accept painful truths and to soothe my pain.  I learned to see the good in every experience, distinguish the bad, and to take everything as a lesson learned.  I learned that in all things, God is sovereign, even in our pain, even in our sorrow, no matter what our circumstance is.  And I learned to recognized what I should be thankful for and however painfully and unwillingly at first, seven months later, I learned what it means to finally let go and move on with my life.  

And since then, I feel like I've grown so much as a woman and as myself, in ways that I know would not have been possible, had I stayed in the relationship.  I'm not saying that to make myself feel better.  It is what I know to be true, and it is my firm belief that since that point, God's will for my life has been unfolding at a rapid pace, with blessings and miracles abounding in ways I never could have even imagined!

Nevertheless, these poems, as with that past relationship, will forever be a part of my life.  And because of that, it belongs here, as part of my history.

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If this is really how you want things to be, 

Then I have no choice but to set you free. 

But before you go, understand what you're losing, 

Because a love like mine doesn't come easily. 

It's a shame to give up because it's "too difficult" to save. 

Especially since it's my whole and genuine heart that I gave. 

For you, I pray for happiness and success, 

With or without me, whatever is best. 

If this is really how you want things to be, 

Thanks for the memories. You'll always be a part of me.

The Gravity of Trust

To whom trust is given, much is required. 

A trust broken may heal over time but the battle scars remain, 

A constant, indelible reminder of the pain. 

Trust must be earned, must be deserved, must be regained. 

It should be cared for and attended to, to avoid unneeded strain. 

Trust is a gift to be given and a privilege to receive. 

It must be protected at all costs and allowed to flourish. 

Should this break, there are consequences.

A still beating heart remembers all.

The Heart

I woke up this morning, and I remember this poem I wrote a few months ago, and I wanted to post it so you can read it, agree, disagree, relate to it, whatever. Comment away!

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May 26, 2009
12:14 AM to 2:10 AM

The heart beats on,
The rhythm of life,
Constant from birth to death.

With each pump,
Life is possible,
Life continues,
Life is lived.

A steadfast soldier that marches on,
Every moment, every second,
Every minute of every day.

The heart beats to live.
The heart beats to love.
The heart feels.
The heart serves one purpose,
To love and do no other.

It does not think.
It does not analyze.
It does not calculate.
It does not weigh the consequences.

The sight of a familiar face,
The familiar eyes, the familiar smile
Quickens the pitter patter of the fervent heart.

It yearns to love and be loved in return.
Yet disappointment comes, time and time again.
Questions, emotions, excuses, complications,
A whirlwind of reasons not to fall.

And yet time and again, the foolish heart stumbles.
The heart, once whole, then shatters.
The fragments scatter, never to be the same once more.
And this broken heart remembers.

The once excited pitter patter now grows faint.
It grows feeble, vulnerable in its weakened state.
Afraid to love again, barely beating, barely holding on.

Yet through the heart-wrenching pain
Of the profusely bleeding heart,
Through the downpour of tears,
Through the restless nights,
The heart beats on.

There’s only One who can mend.
Only the One can comprehend.
Only the One can gather the fragments together,
The remnants of broken dreams,
The debris of a future once painted so brightly,
And restore the heart, again whole and complete,
Now stronger, more intelligent, and a little less naive.

And though this once-broken heart remembers,
Recalls the crimes and offenses against it,
In time, the heart can’t help but to beat a little faster,
To move on, lesson learned,
To be wary but forgiving,
To be aware but open to love.

In time, another familiar face,
Another set of familiar eyes,
And a new and yet familiar smile
Will once again cause this once-broken,
Once-shattered, once-beaten heart
To quicken its pitter patter once more,
This time, for good.