Matthew 18

So I'm thinking to myself, this is my first blog ever. A note to the reader, whatever I post comes from my heart, from my own views and perspective of life... k, thanks!

For the past couple of months, I've been carrying a burden in my heart, and it wasn't until last night as I was pouring my heart out to someone, that I realized this. Someone's left me feeling hurt, rejected, and unwanted. And up to this point, I chose to avoid the confrontation, so to speak, and let them go on their merry way. A lot has happened and changed since we rang in the new year, and for me, it's been a year of trying to figure out who I am, what I believe in, and what my purpose is in this world... yeah I know, pretty intense, huh?

I've been steadily growing in my faith up until just recently, when this feeling of disillusionment and disappointment began to well up inside of me as a result of events that have happened. I'm human. I'm not perfect. And I'm willing to admit, I've found myself sidetracked in my faith somewhat, and it's been a horrible feeling. The mere fact that I hadn't heard Dad's voice in such a long time made me feel lost and aimless. Who would have though that of all places, I would begin to find my way back here, the breeding ground of some of the most intelligent, most inquisitive, most analytical minds in the country, if not the world. It's a testimony to the fact that science and faith CAN coexist...yeee!

Matthew 18. He told me to read Matthew 18, and tonight, I did. And it was tonight that I clearly heard Dad's voice again, the first time in a very long time. Just a quick summary (but feel free to read the entire thing for yourself), it starts off with Jesus giving a warning that we should not cause others to stumble in our faith because of our actions. Midway through the chapter, He gives instructions on how to patch things up with a fellow believer. If you feel like someone has offended you, speak to them in private, and point out the fault. The chapter ended with the Parable of the Unforgiving Debtor... perfect. If God was able to forgive us, how much more should we be able to freely forgive those who have wronged us?

God's message for me? It was a gentle rebuke. To me He said, "My dear, I know you've been hurting for a while now, and I understand the roots of your pain. You have a right to be hurt, but you've been carrying this for too long. Go on, deal with it, make things right, and no matter how hard and stubborn you might be feeling right now, in the end, you must forgive." Message heard, loud and clear, Dad. Good to hear from You again.

(P.S. If anyone's having issues with me calling God "Dad," that's too bad. He is our Abba Father, and so He is to me.)