Relationships and Judgments

As I sat on the train up to Northern California to see my family, I had a very long time to think (and sleep).  At one point, I was trying to figure out what kind of people I surround myself with.  Relationships fascinate me.  How do they start?  How do they continue?  What breaks this special bond?  This reflection was brought about by the end of the semester, saying goodbye to my dear friends as we all go our separate ways for winter break.  It sounds overly dramatic, I know.  But at a small college like mine, I see the same beautiful faces everyday, and this semester especially brought us all closer together.  It's strange not having them around, not having Danielle down the hall or Mila in lab or Kasey sitting at her desk or Marina in her chair.  It's strange not to have random floaters like Bianca or Zoila or Tameka walk into lab to hang out for a while.  All this reminded me of something I am already well-aware of: I am blessed to have such an incredibly amazing and diverse group of people around me.  But I also catch a glimpse of other people's relationships with their families and their friends and how that aspect of their lives function.  

Last semester, Contemporary Moral Problems was my second least favorite class to go to.  (Instrumental Methods of Analysis took first place in that category by the end of the semester.)  But even though I disliked the class, I did pick up on some things that made me stop and think.  Our professor once brought up the issue of judgment.  We are told that it is wrong to judge someone.  Do you judge?  Some people would be inclined to say no, they don't judge.  But we all do.  We judge who we associate ourselves with, what kind of community we live in, what kind of atmosphere we place ourselves in, everyday.  In making these decisions and many more, we construct a specific kind of life for ourselves, and we make numerous judgment calls along the way.

I've known for some years now that I have been blessed with two amazing lifelong friends.  I also know that it is another blessing to have people around me that don't party their lives away and have the responsibility to keep their priorities straight.  From an outside perspective, people may be inclined to say I choose to be around "perfect" people, people who are smart, rich, over-achieving, or "angels."  I found this to be false.  It's not that my friends were all raised right or had a good childhood or had access to all the resources they needed.  It's not that they never have fun and they live boring, strictly academic lives.  No, this is not the case.

The only common factor so far that I've been able to put my finger on is this: They all hold themselves to a higher standard.  They don't need mom or dad to push them to do well.  Of course, everyone has their days when they need that extra encouragement, but for the most part, these people are self-sufficient, self-motivating, and all pursuing their passions and dreams not for anyone else but for the betterment of themselves.  And I guess everything else falls into place.  In pursuit of this goal, they must be responsible, able to prioritize and live a well-balanced life, be open-minded and yet uphold their own set of values and morals.  In order words, they know how to get their life together.  Not that their life is always smooth sailing, but in times of trouble, they are mature enough to know how to handle the pressure.  Pretty cool, huh?  So thank you, thank you, to the people around me.  You all contribute, whether great or small, to my walk of life, and it is because of these characteristics that I'm able to stay grounded.