A Reason and A Season

A good friend once told me that certain people become part of our lives "for a reason and a season."  In this particular case, I feel like she was using it as an excuse to keep herself distant from everyone, a justification to herself that it is perfectly fine to end relationships, friendships, any kind of connection, once someone has "served their purpose" in your life.  Ironically but not surprisingly, this person, who I trusted and genuinely considered my best friend, shattered my heart and broke my trust.  I should have seen it coming.  Once, she even told me how frustrated she is that people don't understand how disposable they are to her, that no matter how "close" she appears to be with someone, she could walk out of that person's life any second.  That's a sad way to look at life and relationships with those around you, in my opinion.  I mean, why even bother to make connections if you're not planning to give it your all?  Anyway, regardless of what happened to our friendship, this quote stuck to me, this saying that sort of became her mantra.  

People are part of our lives "for a reason and a season."

I understand the essence of this statement.  Yes, it's true, some people might have been essential to us, even monumental at some point in our lives, but that doesn't mean they always have to take that place of significance for the entirety of our existence.  It happens all the time.  Relationships end, friends grow apart, people end a chapter in their lives and start a new one, leaving the characters of the previous chapters behind them.  Maybe it's an ex, or a mentor, or a random person you bump into on the streets.  Everything and everyone serves a purpose.  Nothing is an accident.  Life is a very meticulously written and well-orchestrated production, where every player knows their cues by heart without ever really knowing, and the Director is the only one who sees the big picture, the vision that encompasses all of reality, from the milestones to the mundane, every single second of life that was ever lived, is being lived, and will be lived.

But this statement, as my not-so-best-friend sees it, should never be reason enough to justify using the people around you for your own benefit.  Friendships are real.  Relationships are real.  Human connection and interaction is real.  These aren't things you can just end or cut off because it is no longer useful to you.  And if you see life through these eyes, then I'm very terribly sorry for you.  I have amazing people all around me, and I can't even imagine how life would be without them.  I have two best friends and another who is not only a best friend but my one and only sister.  I cannot even begin to fathom how different life would be without them.  I can't even contemplate the act of cutting myself off from them, let alone everyone in my life.  When I build connections, I never think, "This is just temporary."  I always try to build connections that will last, bonds that are strong enough to withstand the test of time, loss of constant communication, pivotal life events, etc.  Not all these bonds survive. That's a shame, but it's the truth.  But it's all a matter of perspective.  If you start off building a connection thinking of it as a temporary means of gaining some sort of benefit for yourself, if you see a budding relationship as a disposable thing, then you're missing out on life.  You're missing out on what could very well be a great, life-changing thing, if you only allow yourself to be completely immersed into it.  Take a chance once in a while.  Give it your all or give none at all.  "Seasons of Love," a song from "Rent," really stands out to me.  Friends, family, these bonds we form all around us.  They are a measure of how we lived our lives.  These are the people who hold us together, who form who we are, who we become, who change our lives simply because they are part of it.  These people are the ones we form memories with, the ones we laugh, cry, eat, sleep, do anything and everything with.  These people journey with us through life, and as our companions in this walk, this march toward an unknown yet certain destination, they deserve to have a real, honest-to-goodness home in our hearts.  Don't be fake.  Don't use people for your benefit.  Don't form connections in order to gain something in return later on.  Form bonds, form friendships for the sheer joy of companionship, for the feeling of comfort and warmth that comes with the fact that you are not alone on this journey, and no matter what happens, there are people around you who love and care about you just as much as you love and care for them.