Thursday, February 4, 2010

Today, what will happen today?

This is it.  At least, that's how it feels...

Today, I'll know the answers to questions that have been churning more and more violently within my soul for the past eight years.
Today, I face the truth, of what I am, of what can and cannot be done.
Today, my options, the paths that lay before me and the paths I cannot cross, will be revealed, once and for all.
Today, I am anxious, I am terrified, I am preparing for the worst.
Today, there is a good chance I will panic, I will not be okay, I will be frustrated, I will cry.
Today, the truth will be revealed and I must accept it for what it is.
Today, my heart may soar or it may break.
Today, I must pull together our lives, my life, which slowly unraveled after she departed.
Today, I will pray, I will lift my hands high to my Father, to the One who has been with me from the beginning of my existence, the One who I will continue to be with for eternity.
Today, I learn what it truly means to die to myself.
Today, I give it all to You.
Today, I know You already know how today starts and ends.
Today, I sing, I play, I breathe, I live for You, for this is all a simple human such as myself can do.

Today Father, this is my prayer.  Bless them for being a blessing to me, bless our conversation, bless whatever outcome results.  You know the deepest, most personal, most intimate desires of my heart.  Hold me in Your comforting embrace, and grant me the divine peace that comes only from You.  Set my way before me, and never allow my fire to burn out nor my hope to diminish.  Never let me go, for in You, I fully trust, and in You lies my yesterday, today, tomorrow, and my eternity.  In the Name of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, I pray.  Amen.


Acts 16.

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