It all makes sense now!

So I realize that I haven't blogged for two weeks, and that's unfortunate. I think I've had a few times where I thought of something to write about, but more important things *cough* school *cough* got in the way. Anywhooo, apparently, a lot can change within two weeks, wow.

First off, rest in peace, Uncle Bob. When I think about you, all I see in my mind's eye is your smile, and all I hear is your hearty laugh. I guess you've made enough people smile here on earth, and now you're making the angels and saints laugh and smile in heaven.

Mama Caring, I know you passed away a year ago, but I haven't been able to fully mourn your death until just recently. You were a beacon of light and happiness. The vibrant energy which emanates from you was contagious to all who are in your presence, and you are surely missed by all of us who had the pleasure of knowing you.

Lastly, my dear Mama, words cannot begin to express how much I love and miss you. Your babies want their Mama back, and we can't help but long for the way things used to be. The fact is, Mama, Dad's trying really hard to be the best parent he can be, but things just aren't at all the same without you. I don't know what happened to us, and I know he's trying to fulfill his promise to you, to take care of your daughters and make sure we're okay, but really, when you think about it, I'm not entirely sure we are. I really wish I could just hold you, put my head in your lap, and cry my heart out to you. You were a wonderful, strong, and beautiful woman, inside and out, and you continue to be my inspiration and my role model. I love you Mama.

I went to a funeral this last Saturday, and I felt like I was not mourning the loss of one person, but all three of these amazing people. It was a reminder of the value of life, of the important things, of the kind of legacy that all of us are bound to leave on this earth, since we are, in fact, all hurtling inevitably to the same end. Today's sermon also resounded this notion, emphasizing the importance of living in the moment, letting go of the past and not worrying about the future.

As to my title, it's fairly simple. Read the blog entry before this. I noted one of the things God spoke to me during the camp is about the stars, how some are brighter than others, but they don't last forever. This, out of all those other lessons, confused me the most, because it was the saddest of all, and I didn't know its full implication until today. Some stars shine brighter than the others, and I now know that two stars shine full and bright, and have been, for many years now. All other stars dim in comparison, and despite their presence now, some are meant to vanish.

I can't even begin to describe recent events, mainly because it honestly came as a major and unpleasant shock to me. Thanks a lot for the notice, I guess I didn't get the memo. And suffice it to say, at this point, I don't think I'm ready to deal with these emotions right now, let alone dissect them enough to write about it. I'm fairly sure I will at some point. Though many stars dim simultaneously, others rise up and shine steadily brighter, and for that I'm grateful. I will also leave you with a few verses, interesting ones I found as I was pondering my dilemma.

"It's not important who does the planting, or who does the watering. What's important is that God makes the seed grow... So don't boast about following a particular human leader..."

--1 Corinthians 3: 7, 21a

Come on, lemme have it. I know you've gotta have some opinions about all this. Let's hear it.